I definitely can…

Hello my positive, energetic readers. It’s been awhile since last time I blogged something.

This time I decided to write but in a different way. i didn't type my thoughts and feelings on my laptop, tonight I am in good mood to use my pen and write on my favorite yellow papers, then later I will type them and so that I share it with you.

I am sitting in the balcony, surrounded by little green trees, beautiful flowers which my mother takes care of.  Breathing fresh oxygen and staring at the moon every three or four minutes. The moon is not full but it is so bright like a pearl. My neighborhood is very quiet but alive and full of energy. I can hear different voices. Cars passing by and on the other hand one of my neighbor’s children just came out to ride his little cute blue car, then there is the most interesting voice you can hear during summer. Can you guess!!!! Come on guess!!!

Ok ok, I will tell. The sound of a cockroach “cheg, cheg, cheg” is a very noisy sound for most of the people. I agree with that, but since I love summer this sound fills me with the crazy spirit of summer.

Today is the 13^th of September. A day which I waited for since the first day I started my internship. My dearest readers let me make a confession. I have the habit of choosing the hard path to walk on. When I do that, I always ask myself “can you make it huda!!!!You will not embarrass yourself right!!!”. But few minutes later I force my brain to get rid of the negative thoughts and cheer myself up. I go and stand in front of the mirror telling myself: listen huda, you have been through harder tasks than the upcoming one, so get rid of your stupid negative thoughts because you definitely can do it.

When I started my internship I didn’t know what was waiting for me. Today after exactly one month I feel so proud of me. i still can’t believe how I became committed to work and how I learned to bear some people .  (I know you have noticed how much I am in love with myself and I am never bored to complement myself, “it’s ok, you will get used to my “self love attitude” with time ).

Back to my experience as an intern I need to give some credit to three people who taught me and supported me, actually they are still doing that.  First, there is the awesome kak aso (I consider him like an amazing older brother) a super educated and dedicated person, a man who can hold his anger " that is if he get's angry". He is the one who opened the door for me, and I decided to use that door, i thin i am lucky to know him. Then there is Ari, the always smiling guy. He is the most loyal person I have ever met in his work. I ask him whatever comes to my mind even the most stupid questions, and he always holds the answers to give them to me.

Last but not least, Kak Rebwar (the presenter of “kawanai sur” program at Rudaw), he treats me like his student and in a very sweet way that I sometimes feel super grateful.  Very educated and open minded man, and very serious and professional in his work.  i can feel it he believes in me and supports me a lot and one day I will pay him back.

Those three people are the most highlighted amazing people that I am surrounded by. I ask, they answer me. I work, they support me. One day, and very soon when I am successful in my life career, they will be on the top of the list to thank them and show them my gratitude in front of the world. I still have one more month left to work as an intern, and every day I get even more motivated to prove to myself that "yes, you can do it”.

I will stop here tonight, but in the upcoming days I will be sharing good news with you. 

                                                  

                                                     So stay safe and positive.

Don’t worry if you lost your way

Sitting in my room and wearing my glasses, surrounded by a bunch of papers and some pens, phone on the ground and listening to a soft relaxing music after having a long interesting day at work. These days I think a lot, and I talk a lot with myself, I ask myself lots of questions about what I did in my life till now, and what I will do in the future. I ask myself whether what I experienced worth to experience, i feel alive and awesome to think about life from time to time because I seriously didn’t know what I really wanted, or maybe I actually knew what I wanted but I just lost  my way.

I have never complained when I was getting lost, and when I didn’t know where I am going. I traveled a lot and I have always lost my way, going to the wrong  neighborhoods and missing the right way to go back to the hotel… but I never felt bad or afraid, actually I was enjoying being lost and not finding the right road to go back to the right place, because on my way I was experiencing things that I have not planned, things that i have not thought about before, and on the other hand, there was always that voice, that little gentle voice close to my ears telling me, “it’s ok, everything will be fine, just don’t be terrified, you will find your way”. That voice never proved me wrong.  

Usually people feel bad when they are lost, which it’s the very normal thing to happen. As for me, I have never felt like that, actually I enjoy every single minute of my being lost. Some might think of me as crazy and immature but I have my own reasons to feel that way and I have my own philosophy about this.

I believe that it is not that bad when we lose our way, when we don’t know where we are going, when we don’t know what we really want. Actually  being lost is healthy, because sooner or later we will find our way, and when we find it we will be so passionate about what we found, and we grape it with teeth and both hands.

When I am lost, I try everything and i go crazy about everything. I get over excited and i enjoy whatever comes to my way, because I know and I am sure, there is a reason for whatever I am experiencing and this will shape my personality , the way I will see the world, and the person I become.

I have been lost for a very long time and I was enjoying, but I am not anymore and i feel peaceful. It feels different when you know where you are going but at the same time it feels serious, because I finally found that special thing, I found what will make me happy and what will make my eyes sparkle all the time, I found what will make my heart beat even stronger and what will make me smile all the time and keep me excited. Don’t get me wrong it is not “someone” but actually it is “something”. Therefore as long as I found that thing, I won’t let it go, I will keep it in my heart and close enough to my mind.

 Sometimes a chance comes and knocks on your door, and then it is your choice to open the door or just keep it close. But there are other times when that chance never comes therefore you have to be brave enough and take the decision to chase that chance and grip it from its back and bring it back with you. But remember never be afraid of getting lost, because  no matter what happens, and no matter when it happens, you will find your way because if you have the passion about life and the passion in being a great person you will find your way.

Stay strong and full of hope… no one can stay lost forever.