A breath, a tear, and a dream

Do you know that special type of inhaling breath? The one you inhale it very deep and keep it for as long as you can while you are thinking? No no, not the one you take while exercising yoga or when you swim.  The one you inhale the biggest wish you have with it? The type of breath you don’t want to release and prison inside your chest? The one that is filled with hopes and big wishes. I take that breath every day and when I release it I smile with a special tear.

What about that type of tear you want to release but you can’t and some times you don’t want to release. That special type of tear, not the sad tear or the one you have when you are at the peak of your happy moments.  The kind of tear you keep and save and promise you won’t spill until it’s the right time to do so. The tear which gives your brain a thunderbolt with a pain you endure just to keep it. The hardest type of tear you keep and you feel your throat will explode if you don’t release it. The kind when you think your heart will come out of your chest if you don’t spill it, yet you keep it. Yes, you keep it. You keep it, for that special dream, the one you are waiting for it to come true.

What about that special dream you have. Your biggest dream, do you have one? That dream is very different and precious. It’s not finding the best job, nor finding the love of your life. It’s neither finishing studying nor having a fancy life or go on a trip to a place you always wanted, but it’s much much bigger. It’s a dream that might make you the most selfish one for wanting it more than anything else and more than anyone on this planet. It’s a dream you would give up everything for it. A dream you are ready to sacrifice your life for it just to make it come true. I wonder if you have such a dream, because I have one. I don’t dream it only at night, but during my days, my sleep and when I am awake.

My most loyal reader, that breath I inhale only when I think of my first love, my beloved one, and my pride. I have promised myself to not shed that tear until I hear my love’s name called out and recognized by everyone. When everyone, every person on this planet know who is my love. I will keep shedding those tears until my biggest dream comes true. Until I shout out “Look, world, people, and nations, my love, my first love is independent” Kurdistan is independent.

Yes, my biggest and most precious dream is to see my beautiful Kurdistan independent. only then I can die in peace.

Yes, I am keeping my tears everyday “I am not exaggerating”. I am keeping them, giving me all that pain in my brain and my throat. I am saving them for the day I see my land independent then I shed them with pride.

Yes, I will keep inhaling that special type of breath every day and imagine myself one day crying and shouting “I am from the independent Kurdistan”.

My love, I am saving my tears until you come true.

Come true soon, because my I don’t know until when my heart will take it.

Painting done by:Asuda rwandizi